17-year-old says he's no longer babysitting his 38-year-old sister's 7-year-old and 5-year-old children: 'I never really had a say in this decision '

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Feb 15, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Helping out around the house is a given, especially when you get older. It's fundamental for preparing you for the mundane rigors and repetitive tasks that make up life as an adult. Of course, when you're a kid you can't possibly imagine how many of these there are: washing dishes, laundry, vacuuming, tending lawns and gardens, and plenty of other maintenance and deep cleaning tasks will take up far more of your time than you ever anticipated was possible. 

When you're in your late teens and early twenties and living on your own for the first time, you'll likely resist this reality for as long as possible, choosing to live in absolute and objective squalor rather than keeping up with them. At some point your frontal lobe will develop and you'll wake up one day to realize that you want to live somewhere clean and aesthetic, and so the drudgery of the rest of your life begins. By the time you have kids of your own, your time-wasting hobbies are gathering dust as you fight just to keep up with an ever persistent ram raid of responsibility. 

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But while it might be helpful to your parents, guardians, and older family members to help out with things when you're in your teens, there are absolutely still reasonable limitations to this. Where exactly that line is will always be up for debate, but it's there somewhere.

    At 17-years-old, being made to be de facto caretaker for your older sister's children every day after school is a bit much. Especially when it's not like she's going to work in order to make ends meet or anything, and just going to galavant around with her friends like she doesn't have any children or responsibilities. 

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    "AITA for not babysitting my sisters kids?"

    So, I (17M) have been babysitting my sister's (38F) kids (7M and 5F) every day after school. I never really had a say in this decision becauce my sister stayed at our parents house. As soon as I got home my sister would already be walking out of the door and I was forced to watch them until my parents got home.
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    The tipping point happened last week when I planned to go to a friend's house after school. I texted my sister letting her know I couldn't babysit and got no response. I got home my sister was walking down the stairs dressed. I asked her where she was going to which she scoffed and said, "A girls day. I told you about this yesterday." I stopped her and reminded her I wasn't babysitting and she rolled her eyes and tried to walk out. I stood in front of the door and asked when the babysitter was g
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    I called our dad and told him the situation. He told me to watch the kids and s k it up. I begrudgingly stayed and watched them. Once my parents got home they took over the child care duties but by that time I had already missed my friend's birthday. I was p ed and went to my room. Refusing to talk to them any more.
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    Today I took a change of clothes with me to school and just went to my friend's house without going home. My sister called me a few minutes after I got to my friend's house and asked me where I was. I told her she went crazy and yelled at me to get home now. I refused and didn't answer any more calls after that. After a few hours I returned home and got grounded and scolded by my parents for putting friends before family and not being there for my sister. I tried to defend myself but they didn't
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    • roxywalker 11h ago NTA. Keep packing your bag and staying with friends. Get a job. Get into a relationship. You will be 18 soon and unless you signed up to be an Au Pair, your family is taking advantage of you.
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    • Dipshitistan 11h ago NTA. If you're grounded, be sure to let them know you will be coming home from school, going into your room, locking the door and not coning out for any reason at all. Including forced babysitting.
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    Slightlysanemomof5 10h ago • Look for an after school part time job. Secure your paycheck so family cannot access it to be ready to be independent. You are not responsible for your sister's children, I would possibly give it a pass if your sister was going to work and between sitters but that doesn't seem like that's the case. Start gathering social security card, birth certificate, passport any other important paperwork and start bank accounts so you can move on without your family.
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    You are NTA and continue to do minimum if you have to watch your sister's children. I would also ask why sister's free time is more important than your schoolwork and free time, and your sister needs to support family too. Meaning your educational needs come before sister having a good time. Start making an exit plan now.
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    Beautiful_Rush_1487 • 11h ago ΝΤΑ It is not your responsibility to watch your sisters kid. You're in high school, you have school work to do. Your sister needs to find and hire a babysitter for her kids instead of dumping the responsibility on you. It's clear that no one in your family respects your boundary.
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    rationalboundaries 10h ago NTA • Your parents willing to sacrifice you for your sister; you dont have many options. Start working on plan to leave the house as soon as you turn 18. Do you have extended family who would be willing to help you by providing housing? The nuclear option is to call police and report child abandonment the next time your sister leaves you alone with children. I'd tell your parents and your sister this will be your next step. Im sorry your parents worthless. Some of us l
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    HottieTsJessy 10h ago NTA. You're 17, not a free daycare. If your sister's too busy for her own kids, she needs to find an actual solution, not just assume you're on call. Your parents need to get off their high horse too.
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    Unusual-Dish4896 10h ago Nta. Not your circus, not your monkeys. She chose to have kids. Why are they not in school? Is your sister going to work? Or just hunting up a new man?
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family dynamics teens family drama aita AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings moms family feud parenting family reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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